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Is this bad juju??

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ssofcon's picture
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Joined: 11/07/2011
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Ok so I don't really know what would constitute as "bad juju" but if getting out your anger or frustration counts then I certainly have that. Honestly, there are so many things I could vent about. Some things are more petty than others but they all do add up. But to vent about one of my issues that can be seen as not at all petty and quite serious then here we go....

I don't understand why some people seem determined to kill themselves through their habits rather then change them. Both of my parents are going through health issues and both can agree they are serious issues and that it will cut their life significantly shorter than what it could otherwise be. Here is the catch though...they aren't doing anything to make their health any better! How can you have multiple heart attacks but continue to smoke and eat poorly? How can you be told you have diabetes and should lose weight and eat appropriately but still eat fried chicken and pizza? I see that their health is affecting their mood, energy and memory a lot. They say they are stuck in their ways and everyone dies anyway. I would like to see them live to see my children grow up and get married and I know they would like that too. So why aren't they trying? Do you really just reach a point where you are willing to give up on life? This is very frustrating and painful to know I will be burying them both sooner rather than later. Why do people do this to themselves and others?

wallyp's picture
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Joined: 11/09/2011
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You absolutely have to want

You absolutely have to want to change in order to change. It's hard to understand why people make many decisions, especially if they don't know themselves. We all do things that we shouldn't, though. It's just a matter of degree and point of view. Making changes in your life for better or worse always requires a decision on your part, conscious or unconscious. In order to change for the better, it requires a conscious decision. But you can never force someone to change. You can only try to make them understand a different point of view and try to lead them to a decision. 

AshleyRose252's picture
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Joined: 11/07/2011
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Losing Battle

I know exactly how you feel. I have an aunt who is basically letting diabetes kill her. She was diagnosed with diabetes nearly 20 years ago, and is now in her early 40s and she is dying. I understand the idea of eating what you want, but this seems like such a preventable death. 

As a kid, it was normal for me to go to the hospital with my parents when her blood sugar levels were dangerously high. My parents, and everyone else, would beg her to change her diet, and she would make empty promises. Now she is missing major sections of each of her feet and has dozens of additional health problems that stem from the diabetes. She leads a very miserable life. I wish there was a way to make her see, but everyone lost hope that she would change her ways long ago. 

I wish I could give you advice to help you with your parents. I guess you could just ask them how badly they would like to keep their feet?

James Folsom's picture
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Joined: 07/04/2011
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Nobody can force someone to

Nobody can force someone to change their diet and habits. That person has to want to. Apparently, living as long as possible is not high on your parents priority list. And I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I'm not too sure it's on mine either. Sure it would be nice to see my grandchildren grow up, but at what cost? Am I going to have to live to be 100? Stuck in a wheelchair or even worse? Do I want to spend my life watching my weight and eating sald for the once in a blue moon visit I met get from my grandkids when I'm old? I say, let them enjoy life even if it's a bit shorter.

My grandfather passed away in his 70s. My son was about three and my sister had just had a baby and my other sister was pregnant. My cousin actually had a baby the day of his funeral. He missed out on a lot of great grandkids being born and growing up (I have two more myself). My grandmother is still alive. She's in her 90s. But the poor thing had to move in with my parents. She's had falls and broken hips and such. Her hair is almost gone. She can barely walk, etc. So he smoked his whole life and ate whatever and got cancer and died, but up until then he was fine. She took care of herself and is now dying a slow death that's really painful and painful to watch. So who was right? Grandpa or Grandma?